The Museum of Ice Cream is as great as it sounds

OMG did you know there’s a Museum of Ice Cream now in New York City? Are you just finding out about this? Do you think that would be a fun thing to do?

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Too bad. By the time the news hit The New York Times, all 30,000 tickets for the limited-time, summer-only pop up museum were sold out.

Thanks to being a loyal Gothamist reader, I found out about the museum on July 9th and promptly bought four tickets at $15/each face value. I put my tickets up for sale last week on Craigslist for a day for $150, a 900% markup, just to see if they would sell. I had 5 inquiries within 24 hours, and one threatening email telling me, “That’s honestly ridiculous, greedy and downright outrageous. I hope you have zero luck selling these tickets.” While the lady had a point, she clearly didn’t realize how far people are willing to go to experience this limited-time engagement.

If you’re shit out of luck and don’t want shell out one hundred fifty smackaroos, don’t fret: Little Girl Big Mouth is here to show you exactly what you’re missing. Sorry. (Not sorry.)

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Room 1: Ice cream! That you eat!

I had a pretty deep rooted fear that the Museum of Ice Cream was just going to involve looking at ice cream and talking about ice cream and there wouldn’t be any real ice cream consumption. Thankfully, my suspicions were proved wrong within two seconds of entering the building. You start the tour with a custom scoop of ice cream made especially for the museum.

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Blue Marble with Kellogg’s: Organic Vanilla with Froot Loops, Lime Zest, Marshmallows, Passion Fruit Jam

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Scoop shot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Different local ice cream vendors will be offering scoops of custom creations depending on when you visit the museum. Scoop schedule:

7.29 – 8.8: Blue Marble & Kellogg’s
8.10 – 8.15: Oddfellows Ice Cream Co.
8.17 – 8.22: McConnell’s Fine Ice Cream & Maman
8.24 – 8.31: Chinatown Ice Cream Factory
8.8 & 8.15: Black Tap

Room 2: Edible balloons that aren’t ice cream but are still fun

This room is called the “cone room” because it’s decorate with a bunch of waffle cone paraphernalia, but the real star of the show is the candy balloon filled with helium that they hand each patron. The balloon is pretty sticky and disgusting but the results are fun:

Room 3: Creating the world’s biggest sundae with freakish non-melting ice cream

This room was a dud. They tell you some history about ice cream and then ask everyone to pick up a sticky scooper and spoon out some magical non-melting ice cream to throw on top of a goblet. You don’t get to put anything in your mouth in this room, so it is inherently less fun. They also encourage you to take a selfie with the oversized bowl of unknown substance. Non-melting ice cream is an abomination and it upsets me.

 

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I know I look happy but I am truly terrified of the non-melting ice cream

Room 4: The chocolate room, where you can put things in your mouth again

Chocolate! Everyone loves chocolate! This was mostly a space filled with projector screens showing images of flowing liquid chocolate. There was a chocolate fountain in the corner but they tell you in advance not to touch it or drink from it, which I get for hygenic reasons, but still a bummer. Thankfully, there are individually wrapped Dove chocolates all over this room for you to eat while marveling at the melting imagery on the walls.

Room 5: This is what you came for: the (fake) sprinkle pool

The sprinkle pool at the MOIC is probably going to be in the top 5 things instagrammed in NYC this summer. The museum has been pushing this image hard in their promotional efforts, and for good reason: the thing is pretty fucking cool and everyone looks glamorous in a backdrop of rainbows. The caveat: it’s not real sprinkles. The pool is filled with little plastic beads that you find in between your toes hours later. Next to the pool, there are plastic bins filled with gummies, more chocolate, and other sugar delivery devices, so you can literally have your cake and eat it too, or in this case, have your candy and eat it in a pool full of imitation sprinkles.

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Dad wondering what the hell this is

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Even if I paid $15 just to get this photo, kind of worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Room 6: Take this pill and eat this ice cream that came out of nowhere, you’ll be fine, I swear.

As you enter this room, an attendant gives you a pellet of concentrated synsepalum ducificum, more commonly known as magic berries (you can buy them on Amazon for $15/pack). The chemicals in the pellet bind to the sweet receptors on your tongue and make sour food taste sweet for about a half hour. To test the effects, a spooky glove-covered hand appears from behind a wall and hands you tart frozen yogurt and lemon slices.

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Room 7: Tinder is here for some reason

The final room is sponsored in part by Tinder, which doesn’t have much to do with ice cream, but okay sure we’ll go with it. There’s a giant ice cream sandwich you can swing on and an ice cream scoop see-saw. But, again, nothing to put in your mouth, so kind of a lackluster finale.

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My parents are actually pretty cute on this giant ice cream sandwich

So that’s the museum! I got to put things in my (little girl big) mouth in 5 out of 7 rooms, and that’s more than I get in a normal museum, so this was an overall win. Go team!

 

 

Celebrate America with Melted Cheese and New Restaurants

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You can’t blame Boehner for getting emotional – that is some sexy cheese. I also may have cried while eating it.

Get out of your backyard (if you’re lucky enough to have one) and head to one of these new or newish restaurants in NYC.


Santina

This new hot spot right under the High Line is always full of beautiful, trendy people. The palm trees and colorful dishware make you feel like you’re on the Mediterranean coast. The food is light but pricey – buyer beware.

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Cecina with avocado trapenese. Fancy words for chickpea pancake with Mediterranean guac.

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Kale salad

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Tortellini sorrentina – goat cheese tortellini

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Bonus round – Cocktail: Manganelli punch. Comes in a fun pineapple great for taking hilarious “Look I’m drinking out a pineapple!” pictures.

Get it here: 

Santina – 820 Washington Street


Upland

Everyone’s been raving about this new Flatiron place for dinner, but I actually liked it better for brunch. And the room glows with gold light so it makes you feel like your robbing the gold bar supply from a bank. A delicious, heavy breathing-inducing bank.

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Pastry Basket – house-made grapefruit pound cake, baguette, bacon and chive scones, cinnamon sugar donuts, lemon poppy muffin, butter + jam

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Spanish frittata – roasted garlic mayonnaise, espelette + chives. A Spanish tortilla masquerading as a frittata. Still good.

Get it here: 

Upland – 345 Park Ave South


Maman

I’m gonna start some shit when I say this: Maman is the new Levain Bakery. If you don’t feel like shlepping to the Upper West Side and waiting on a 20 minute line for a cookie, Maman’s are just as good.

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Chocolate chip walnut cookie

Get it here:

Maman – 239 Centre St


Gato

This is Bobby Flay’s newest Spanish influenced NYC restaurant. Most of my pictures from here came out really shitty because I had just gotten a new camera and didn’t know what the hell I was doing, so here’s one of the most popular and unique appetizers: scrambled eggs.

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Scrambled eggs, almond romesco, boucheron cheese, tomato confit toast

Get it here:

Gato – 324 Lafayette St


Root and Bone

Southern food is my favorite type of food. I have an unrefined palate and I don’t like sushi or clams or beef tartare or basically anything that “foodies” should like. I might be the worst, but Root and Bone is the best.

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Apricot and ricotti bruschetta

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Grilled peach caprese – gooey pimento cheese croquette, charred peaches, pickled green tomatoes, baby heirloom tomatoes, basil & molasses vinegar

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Macaroni and cheese – big pasta, crunchy cheese & biscuit thyme crust

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Fried chicken & waffle sandwiches – whisky maple syrup, pickled green tomato, watercress, on a cheddar cheese waffle. We didn’t even order this but they brought it to us by mistake and I wasn’t mad.

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Crispy chicken biscuits – tabasco pepper jam, jar of pickles & root chips

Get it here:

Root and Bone – 200 E 3rd St


Raclette

The mothership. This shoebox in the East Village has literally 6 seats in it. You order a plate of vegetables, potatoes, and meat, and they come by with this giant wedge of hot cheese and melt it on top of your food. They have a few other things here but why bother: you know why you came.

They’re doing a solid business in takeout, which I don’t really understand, because how does the cheese melting work? Does the delivery guy come with the wedge of cheese and the contraption that melts it and do it for you in your living room while you watch your 5th episode of Law and Order SVU? Or, much worse, is the cheese pre-melted? Just do yourself a favor and get here ASAP.

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Get it here:

Raclette – 195 Avenue A

 

THIS IS NOT A DRILL: WEGMANS IS COMING TO NYC

Thank god I took this photo in 2012 to prepare for this moment.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I’M FREAKING OUT DREAMS COME TRUE DREAMS COME TRUE

Read the article here: Wegmans to Open at Brooklyn Navy Yard

But honestly I haven’t even read it myself yet because I’m too excited to focus my pupils on words. Can someone tell me what it says?

How to Ball Out When Your Rents Are In Town

I spend all year compiling lists of restaurants I would eat at if I had fistfuls of cash, and then I shove all the reservations into one weekend when my parents come to town. So when Mom visited this weekend, we ate HARD. From thin-crust trendy pizza to fluffy James Beard pancakes, read on to find out how you too can feed yourself and your parents like the morbidly obese kings of NYC.

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(This omelette from Norma’s in The Parker Meridian actually looks vile. Please do not ball out THIS HARD.)

Breakfast: Bubby’s High Line

I’ve always wanted to go here, but every time I’ve passed by it’s been ridiculously mobbed by a rough-riding stroller crew. Also, $10 for a side of bacon… no. We avoided the line by going at the Mom-requested (and Caryn-reviled) time of 9:30AM. $8 Valrhona Hot Chocolate sounds stupid crazy but was worth the price tag. We should have split one entree because everything was HUMONGOUS. I forgot to take pictures because 9:30AM is too early to function, so instead, here is a photo ripped from TripAdvisor of the James Beard-recipe pancakes I ate. And just to illustrate how big they were, I photoshopped myself into them for some perspective.

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Get it here:

Bubby’s High Line – 71 Gansevoort Street, NY, NY 10012 – 212-206-6200


Lunch: Marta

While this place isn’t super pricey, a quick search on OpenTable shows reservations for the next two weeks are extremely limited. You can either eat at 2:30PM with the unemployed or “creatively self-employed” types, or at 10:45PM with the monsters that think that’s an acceptable time for dinner. OR you can plan ahead and make a rezzie for when your parents are in town like a boss.

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Frittura di Zucca – breaded and fried delicata squash rings

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Funghi Pizza – Fontina, Hen of the Woods, Chanterelles, Red Onion, Thyme

Get it here:

Marta – 29 E 29th Street, NY, NY 10016 – 212-651-3800


Dinner: August

My favorite food blog The Infatuation just listed August as one of the must-try new restaurants of Winter 2014. This is a perfect parent place: warm and cozy, a little too expensive, in the Upper East Side, and occupied by a few other “older” people who aren’t instragramming their meals.

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Burrata, Roasted Beets, Walnut Soil

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Roasted Organic Chicken, Hen of the Woods Mushrooms, Black Truffle, Roasted Carrots, Porcini Oil

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Roasted Scallops, Celery Root, Honeycrisp Apple

Get it here:

August – 791 Lexington Ave, NY, NY 10065 – 212-935-1433

4th of July at The Dutch – Corn Dogs and Peach Pie

Happy Birthday America! Can’t believe you’re finally 2014 years old!

(JK.)

Here are some photos of the Ameridiculous cookout menu that was served at The Dutch yesterday. May your long weekend be filled with lots of goodies as rich and fattening as the dishes below. Because THAT’S what it means to be an American.

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Mexican Street Corn with Lime, Chile, and Cotija Cheese

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Corn Dog Stuffed with Cheddar

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Texas-Style Smoked Brisket Plate, Watermelon, Hawaiian Sweet Roll, Potato Salad with Bacon

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Peach Pie, Blackberry – Buttermilk Ice Cream

Get it here:

The Dutch – 131 Sullivan Street, NY, NY 10012 – 212-677-6200

Let’s Get Outdoor Food Wasted

After the soul-crushing frozen tundra experience that was Winterpocalypsegeddon 2013-14, this weekend’s first appearance of above 80 temps made me very, very happy. Like the rest of NYC, I took to the streets to absorb all the sun-soaked Vitamin D my body could handle. I also decided to do the same with calories.

My first stop was Tacombi at Fonda Nolita, a covered space that still feels like a cool outdoor patio with string lights and high ceilings. Real live Mexican person Fernando Acevedo came with me and says this is one of his favorite authentic spots in NYC.

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Also there’s this old VW bus where tacos come from. Neat.

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Spiked Horchata with Rum. Tastes like rice pudding but makes you drunk. Super.

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Agua Fresca de Jamaica. Jamaica = Hibiscus.

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Guacamole con Totopos

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Barbacoa (brisket) Taco and Crispy Fish Taco

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Pollo Quesadilla and Pollo Adobo Taco. Highly recommend the quesadilla if you like cheese (which you should.)

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We poured this sauce on EVERYTHING.

Get it here:

Tacombi at Fonda Nolita – 267 Elizabeth St, NY, NY 10012 – 917-727-0179


On Sunday, I wandered around the Chelsea/Meatpacking area. Passed by this sign for Doughnut Plant on West 23rd Street and had to stop because LOOK AT THOSE MAY SPECIALS:

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I grabbed two of their smaller donuts, “doughseeds”, and headed to the High Line.

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Mango Doughseed

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Banana Pecan Doughseed

Get it here:

Doughnut Plant – 220 W 23rd St, NY, NY 10011 – 212-675-9100


Ever since I heard about the old school soda fountain opening at Bubby’s High Line, I’ve been dying to get my hands on an ice cream soda. SO. MANY. FLAVORS.

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While the menu looks cool, the space was a little underwhelming. I expected a counter with metal stools staffed by soda jerks serving frosty specials in tall glasses, but this is really more of a grab-and-go ice cream joint. Sundaes are served in Chinese takeout containers which is… confusing?

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Black and White – Chocolate Soda with Vanilla Ice Cream. This was pretty delicious, but it took them a few tries to make it correctly. I hope this place works out the kinks so I can come back and try everything (milkshakes, sodas, sundaes, and pies included).

Get it here:

Bubby’s Soda Fountain – 71 Gansevoort St, NY, NY 10014 – 212-206-6200